Who Said "Do it Alone"? Part III

Since God created man for relationship and fellowship with himself, and he created man in his own image, then he also created man with an innate desire for relationship as well. Sounds simple enough, right? In a nutshell, that wraps up everything I've been studying, but the layers to that shell are mind-blowing and He just keeps showing me more and more! See, He purposefully designed us to work and worship together, to love and strengthen each other, because he is the God of relationship. He very specifically created them to weave through and enhance every aspect of our lives, because relationships are that important.

Why are our relationships so vital? Why would loving others be the 2nd most paramount commandment? Relationships are the foundation of God, the basis of His kingdom and the primary way that we continue to grow and cultivate it. Your relationship with God reveals who He is in a personal and intimate way to you. Through this revelation, we grow in our love for ourselves as we discover the truths of His love. As His nature of love is growing within us, so is our love and compassion for the world around us. We should be modeling our relationship with God in our relationship with others, and those relationships are our greatest tool in reaching others for the kingdom. Just like the old saying goes, “They don’t care what you know until they know that you care”, when your love for people is evident, the doors of opportunity to share Jesus will fly open. Whether this means introducing someone to Jesus for the first time, or encouraging them to further their walk with Him, this is why our relationships are vital for outreach. However, the opposite is also true, when our relationships with those around us aren't mirroring the love, compassion and grace of God, we can lose valuable opportunities to speak life into those that are desperate for answers. Trust me, I've had to remind myself plenty of times, although I may be justified in treating someone like they treated me, or like they deserve, is it worth the sacrifice? If it slams a door shut to someone (maybe the person that "deserves it", or maybe just another onlooker) that I could have shared Jesus with? Is it how Jesus treated me when I've messed up time after time? Certainly not. Is it insanely hard to walk out at times?! Most definitely!

Relationships are equally important to our lives as they are to reaching others. Relationships enhance our lives and help us fulfill our call. Everywhere you see instruction in the Bible, you’ll also discover how following that instruction brings blessing into our own life. God doesn’t give us instruction for the sake of expressing His deity or “just because he can”. He does it for our own benefit, because He wants what is best for us and wants us far from anything that causes us pain or separation from Him. Relationships are not an an exclusion to this principle. Here’s a glimpse into why relationships are vital to your own life:

Godly relationships help us accomplish purpose and help us recover when we fall:

“Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But WOE TO HIM who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9-10‬ ‭AMP

When something exciting happens in my life, my first call, if he's not already by my side, is to Jason. I love celebrating with him! I know he's going to be encouraging and will always rejoice with me, never being jealous or diminishing a victory, no matter the size. After Jason, my second call is most likely going to be my Mom. When something great happens, I want to share it with those I love. It's the greatest feeling! The "reward" is more satisfying when there's someone to enjoy it with. And the labor, it's not only better to have someone help you carry the load, get the job done more efficiently, but it makes the process more enjoyable over all! I believe this is the first part of what Ecc. 4:9 is showing us. The second part is equally important; we need someone around to help us get back up when we fall, and then propel us forward. Ya'll, sometimes life is HARD! Sometimes we get knocked down and we're just not sure we even want to get back up. This is why it's crucial that we have our core circle of relationships that are close enough to know what's going on, can tell when something is off, and won't let us continue to sink when we're tired of fighting the waves. They remind us that we're not supposed be drowning in solitude and of the victories behind and ahead of us. They remind us of purpose and help us fulfill it.

Godly relationships encourage us to keep going and inspire us to do good:

“and let us consider [thoughtfully] how we may encourage one another to love and to do good deeds, not forsaking our meeting together [as believers for worship and instruction], as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more [faithfully] as you see the day [of Christ’s return] approaching.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10:24-25‬ ‭AMP‬‬

This is why it's crucial that you have a local church body that you're connected to. I've heard it time and time again, "the church isn't a building, I am the church. I don't need to go into a church to have church". Wrong. YOU are not the church. The church is not ONE person. The church is a body of believers, working together for one purpose. When you isolate yourself from the body, the whole body suffers because it's not functioning as it was intended to function. "But I don't have to go to church to be saved." Okay, well you've got that one on a technicality. There's a lot of things you don't have to do in order to be saved, but that doesn't mean it's God's best for you or for those around you. You need to be a part of a healthy body in order to operate as God created us to. Church isn't about appeasing God and if it's the only time you're worshipping, reading his word or praying, you're missing out on so much of what he has for you. There's undeniable power when we come together with family to worship, learn and grow in community. When you walk in those doors on Sunday morning (or whenever you gather) and you're already filled up with your personal relationship time with Him, you're not only ready to receive what He has for you in that service, but you're ready to pour into whoever He has for you to interact with at that time. If your default thought when going to church is "What can I get today?", I challenge you to begin asking God to use you to encourage someone as well. Your pastors may be the leaders of the flock, but you're called to be an active part of ministry as well! We're all ministers (2 Corinthians 3:6), whether inside the church walls or out beyond them. Begin looking in every area of your life for opportunities to love and encourage, because if your eyes are open, you'll find them everywhere you go and your relationships will flourish like never before.

Godly relationships enhance our lives with joy, and joy is refreshing:

“A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:22‬ ‭

Laughter is a good thing! There's nothing that refreshes me more than a good laughter session. I have a tendency to hyper-focus on things and taking time off or hitting pause on a project has had to be a learned (or forced) skill in my life. I need friends and family that can lovingly remind me of this when needed. It's okay to take time off and just have FUN! When I do, I return to the job at hand refreshed, happier and often even more efficient. I'm happy to say this comes much more naturally to me now, but I'm definitely still a work in progress [just ask my husband🤷🏻]. When God showed me that by neglecting this time I was actually leaving part of my purpose unfulfilled, it really started to sink in. It's part of building each other up, strengthening relationships and we're all better because of it. So don't take yourself so seriously all the time! I'm 100% positive that Jesus has a spectacular sense of humor and we're going to enjoy an eternity of laughs together!

I’m sure this list could go on for days [at least]. God’s been showing me more and more for several weeks now. The point is, you don’t want to miss out on this special gift from our father! Be intentional in building relationships in your life, looking for opportunities to build others up and allowing them to do the same for you. Jesus knew we would need a support system because he knew we’d face trials.

John 16:33 - You WILL face trials in the world, but HE has overcome the world.

Not only has He overcome the world, but He provided us with a mechanism of support in the midst of it all. If you’re neglecting that gift, you’re missing out on a crucial gift that our Father provided. And speaking from experience, you can emotionally isolate yourself and never physically be alone. Being in the presence of another doesn’t equate relationship. Interaction and intimacy are required for love to form the bond that strengthens and deepens relationships. Otherwise, you’re just two people alone together. Superficial friendships are okay, you’re not going to be besties with everyone (and shouldn’t be), but you do need more than just surface friends. More than social media “friendships”. Friendships that run deeper, that challenge you to step up to your purpose, that pick you up when you fall, that inspire you - those need time and intention to flourish. They require vulnerability. If your friends are unaware of what you’re facing, how can they even begin to help you through it? You’re robbing yourself of valuable counsel (Pr.‬ ‭27:9‬).

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Read John 15:1-17, look at what happens when you cut the connection in a relationship. The branch can be severed, laying only inches from the vine, and still shrivel up and die. It's close, but without connection, there's no life. This passage is specifically speaking about our relationship with God, but the principle stands true in all of our relationships. Don’t let your friendships [or your marriage] shrivel, take action! We have to “abide” in love. Abide is a verb, it means to "endure without yielding" or to "continue in a place”. To aide requires action, it is action. It . It’s a step further than “dwell”, which means to live or to "remain in a certain state". Mere presence isn’t enough to abide, although it’s an important aspect, you need to be active and intentional about your relationships in order for them to thrive.

Even in marriage, when you neglect your relationship, you can become two people living two completely separate lives, all while residing within one house. But God has made you one (Mt 19:6), so don’t allow yourself to become emotionally isolated from your spouse. Look for ways to share your love, surprise each other, serve each other, share details about your day [the good and the ugly], support each other, go on an adventure together, challenge each other [in the best of ways], worship and seek God’s direction together, laugh together and always continue dreaming together. Be purposeful about your time together and life will spring forth in your relationship like never before!

I’m so thankful for every relationship in my life. Who do you have in your life that helps dust off the dirt when you fall? Who motivates you to do good? Who makes you laugh? Spend some time being thankful for the gift of relationships today. Then, I challenge you to examine your relationships and be purposeful about growing them, as God intended. Your life, theirs, and all of those around you will be greater because of it and I can't wait to hear all about it!