Who Said “Do it alone”?

Have you ever been in the middle of studying a subject and it seems like it’s suddenly EVERYWHERE? It’s the topic of messages you come across, conversations with friends and family keep taking you there, it’s like you just can’t get away from it, but in the best of ways. That’s how the subject of relationships has been for me over the past few months. God’s been helping me rediscover the importance of the people in my life and how to be more intentional in those relationships. He’s blown my mind most recently with a new understanding of the innate desire for these connections that he purposefully created within us.

To say 2020 has been full of challenges is the epitome of an understatement. It’s always easy to go too long without catching up with an old friend or not follow through with “let’s get lunch soon” and other good intentions. But this year, it’s been nearly impossible with covid shutdowns, restrictions on gatherings and general health concerns. There was a lot of ugly in 2020, and 2021 has already revealed more, but there’s also been a lot of beauty. Our family is home nearly every night for dinner together. We’ve discovered new recipes, had deeper and often difficult conversations about what’s happening in the world, played more games than ever and even done puzzles together (which has become my new go-to for mindless decompressing). I’m pretty sure we’ve watched every Christmas movie classic there is (ok, maybe not, but our last count was near 30!) because family movie night has transformed from a frequent Sunday evening tradition to the standard after (or sometimes during) dinner activity. Brooklyn and I even exhausted nearly every cheesy Christmas romance on Netflix, Hulu & Hallmark as we worked from home during the day (sometimes Connor joined in too, but we didn’t torture Dad with those in the evenings😂). You get the idea. Time at home used to be a luxury in the midst of work, school, church, businesses, sports, etc. Honestly, despite our honest efforts, it’s not something we prioritized enough on a daily basis. We’ve always been intentional about carving out family time, but It’s so easy to allow our relationships to take a backseat to the busyness of everyday life. 2020 handed us 9 months together as it literally cancelled the majority of our remaining daily lives. Our intentions actually had to shift from making time at home happen to being intentional about getting the kids OUT of the house at least every few days, equally for their sanity and mine! Talk about a 180!

Even with all of that time at home, we still had to be intentional about growing our relationships, because it takes a lot more than proximity to cultivate them. All relationships take time and effort, and without the necessary attention, they will stop thriving. This can happen completely unintentionally, but can also be calculated and purposeful; I know I’ve been guilty of both at times. Sometimes we purposefully disconnect ourselves because it feels easier to deal with life’s obstacles alone rather than being vulnerable to someone that could just end up eventually disappointing us. In leadership, it’s often hard to confide in someone because it can feel like everyone in your life is either looking to you for answers or just expects “more” of you, whatever that means. Somewhere along the way, vulnerability became misconstrued as a weakness of those who “couldn’t hang”, or couldn’t keep it together on their own. I believe this is one of the most powerful lies of the enemy, specifically designed to isolate us and put us in a position of weakness. When, in reality, vulnerability will breathe strength and endurance into our lives through those very relationships, if we’ll allow it to do it’s work and engage with others as God intended. You see, God is all about relationships because He’s all about you! After all, He created us specifically FOR relationships, as a mirror of himself. God is a 3 part being, (Father, Son & Holy Spirit), he’s literally made up of a relationship of 3. His existence itself was the first relationship. Then, God created us to love, fellowship and have relationship with Him. But he didn’t stop there, he also created us with a capacity to love others, to forge new relationships, which are limited only by our capacity to love ourselves. As we grow in our love for him, we in turn grow in our love for ourselves, therefore increasing our capacity to love others. He makes the importance of these relationships undisputedly clear in the passage below:

“Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:37-39‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

We show our love for the Lord both by worshiping and pursuing our relationship with Him and also by growing in our capacity to love others more like Him. As we pursue our relationship with Him, and understand His love in a greater way, our expanding love for ourselves and others is a natural progression of his nature shining within us. Why would the God of relationships ever ask us to do this life alone? He wouldn’t! And it’s not a noble or holy notion to even try. In fact, when we insist on isolating ourselves, we are going against the very nature that He created us with! He’s provided us with relationships that are strategically placed in our lives to help us accomplish the purpose He’s given us AND to enhance our lives along the way. It’s actually quite arrogant for us to resist this nature, and insist we can do it better alone. Doing so, means we’re insisting that we know better than God, and that, my friends, is a lonely and dangerous place to be! You may be escaping from the vulnerability to those around you, but you’re opening vulnerability to the enemy, which is right where he wants you: alone, weak and susceptible to his lies. There’s a better way!

I’m excited to take you on this journey with me as God unwraps the value and purpose in relationships like I’ve never seen before. And I'm not just talking romantic relationships, although marriage is a pretty spectacular one, so regardless of your S.O. status today, this series is for you! If you're looking for more on marriage, keep checking back because "Power Couple" is coming soon, but this is a GREAT place to start! 💙