The Juggle is Real - Family, Ministry, Business, Life

Being in a pastoral position is the single most rewarding and difficult thing we have ever done. We get to experience people on a different level that nearly everyone else in their lives, whether it be good or bad. We’re surrounded by a massive network of family, and yet it can feel incredibly isolating. I say “we“, because we truly view the ministry as a family calling. We’ve never looked at ministry as a “his thing” just like we don’t look at our kids as a “her thing”. You see, when we got married, God preformed a miracle and we became an “us thing”. And then he blessed us with two children and it expanded to a family thing. From the beginning we worked together with God on our vision for family, ministry, business and life. At times we’ve missed the mark and that partnership has taken a backseat, but I’m proud to say that today we stand stronger than ever. It's when we get that priority list out of order that we find trouble: family, ministry, business and then the rest of life. We've watched way too many families torn apart through the years by the demands of ministry because they don't keep the priority list a priority.

The List...

1: God - It may look like I skipped one, but look over that sentence in the first paragraph, where I first made the list, once more. It's underlined for ease. No really, I'll wait, go read it! Okay, so here it is again, for those of you who don't follow instructions: "we worked together with God on our vision for family, ministry, business and life." That little, massively important, pyramid has to be at the top of everything we do. I'll never forget sitting in a premarital counseling session with our mentor as he explained this pyramid to us. I know I had heard it before, but it finally made sense or maybe just finally seemed relevent enough to explode in my thick head. If God is at the top and we're both pursuing him, our two corners merge closer and closer as we grow closer to Him. It is crucial that we walk hand in hand, pursuing the one who is perfect, because we'll never be that in ourselves. And the moment either of us stall in that pursuit, our relationship is halted along with it.

2: Family - I've heard it often preached that if you don't take care of you, how can you take care of your family? The same holds true in the life of ministry. If you don't tend to your own family, how can you tend the flock God has given you? Now this seems like an obvious one, but this is where we've observed so, so many fall apart. Our family comes before ministry. If we truly believe that ministry is a family calling, then we must have a healthy family in order to do the work of the ministry. Sometimes this means we decline other potential obligations in order to prioritize our family. Often this means working stupid late hours while the kids are sleeping so that we can spend the hours awake building those relationships. This also means protecting our children from the sometimes hostile life of ministry, while preparing them to be strong enough to face it later. Ministry is 24/7 and I love that our entire team sees our congregation as family. We attend birthday parties, make hospital visits, answer midnight phone calls and support them as we do our own. But sometimes, it's necessary to unplug and let someone else cover while we nurture our own. Being business owners, you face the same demand on your time. You're expected to live and breathe that business, and when you have multiples intertwined with ministry, it can be overwhelming at times. We've faced some harsh criticism because our family travels a lot. Critics are inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to anything they have to say. Travel is our escape. When you're out of town, there's this sudden understanding (for most people) that, "Oh it can wait" or "I'll call on someone else" that just isn't present when it's just your "day off". Travel is one way we prioritize our family and show them that they're more important than anything else. Whether it's a day trip to somewhere on a tight budget or a week at Disney World, the important thing is that they feel prioritized and we're not distracted by business or anything else. We need all of us at the top of our game because we have a big job to do. I wouldn't trade our life for any other and believe God has given us grace for a life most would call insane, but it requires intentional priorities to make it all work. And the awesome thing is, when your family knows they're a priority, and you do get that emergency call to take care of something or someone, they don't feel slighted at all. When your entire family is ministry minded, grounded in confident love, their desire will become that others feel that same love. Your family being a priority above everything else leaves no room for resentment to grow. It may take time, especially if they've already endured a long period of neglect, but your family will recover and be stronger than ever. If you're just starting out, start with your priorities straight. It's okay to say no, to take tame off, to get away with just your spouse, to stay home and do nothing, take a family vacation, have a hobby. Heck, get crazy and miss a Sunday every now and then! It's not just okay, it's necessary to recharge! You can’t continue to pour into others if you’re not consistently replenished.

3/4: Ministry before business - even though our belief is that business is ministry. If there's ever a time that the two conflict, ministry would trump business in a heartbeat. I believe God has wound them so uniquely together in our lives, that we don't have to choose because they're one in the same. There were some foundational things that we had to be purposeful about, like not conflicting with church services, but, for the most part, it's been pretty simple, even logical. Our purpose in ministry and business are one in the same: to love and help people. I believe it's the same whether you're in ministry or not, own businesses or work inside or outside the church. Our work should intertwine with our ministry. When it has come to a point that there’s potential for the two to conflict, God has always shown us a better way. We're not called to the status-quo, we're called to do things differently. Sure, there have been situations where this philosophy wasn’t the easiest, but its always been the right choice. Some people won’t ever understand why we do things the way we do, some have tried to take advantage of it, used it against us, and even spewed lies that we would be well within our rights to publicly defend. But, most of the time, God just says, "Wait." Hard as it is to walk out at times, those people aren't who we're serving, nor the ones who called us to do any of this. Their part in the vision may be temporary, but our part is to keep saying yes as He drops the next part of His plan in our laps, while staying obedient to the guidelines He's laid out for us. The rest, we leave in His capable hands.

When Jason and I were dating we dreamed of the day we would own 10 businesses. We had some ideas of things we'd like to do, but mostly we just knew it was a piece of our purpose and we wanted to help people. We knew we could touch so many more lives through the influence of business and we also understood that ministry takes money. We never wanted to face a time where ministry is hindered due to a lack of finances. I mean, who does, right? We've messed up plenty along the way, but God has shown us how to make this happen in the most amazing ways. A wise man once told Jason, "There's plenty of money out there, you just have to go get some more". We've purposed to plan our visions accordingly. We dream big and then say, "Okay God, show us how to make it happen". And although it doesn't always seem that easy, it's a simple truth. I mean, it's all God's anyway.

As we went through our first 10 years of marriage we had some incredible influences in our life that taught us in so many aspects of business. Most of all, we had bosses that understood that ministry comes first. Jason had a boss that told him, "Your calling is ministry and part of my calling is to help you accomplish yours". How incredible is that?! I had a boss that, though it wasn't verbalized in the same way, was always supportive of our ministry and worked with whatever we needed to accomplish both. He invested in our first business, without us even asking, when we were starting without a penny to our name and a bank would have laughed in our faces. I cried the day I left that job. I had invested myself in the business and the people there and even though I knew God was calling me to something new, it hurt to leave somewhere I loved so dearly. That's the kind of businesses we want to have. We don't expect the majority of our positions to be careers, and we pray that our employees are blessed and are offered great opportunities that better their families. We pray that God shows us how to be a blessing to them as our previous jobs were to us. Never in a million years would I have dreamed of owning a cleaning business, but I love that He dropped it in our lap and we can offer entry-level positions to those just starting out or needing to make a little extra on the side to support their families through a hard time or maybe save up for a mission trip or vacation. We pray for opportunities to shine Jesus into the lives of people through everyday tasks. See, our ministry goes so far beyond what you see on a typical Sunday morning. Our ministry is people. Whether that be through leading worship, preaching, teaching students or everyday business. I hope yours does too. Whether you're a pastor, business owner, rockstar parent or some other type of professional, I pray your ministry goes beyond Sunday morning and into every aspect of your life.

When these priorities are in order, your family is stronger, your ministry is so much greater and together you become an unstoppable force for Christ! They seem so obvious, and when you're doing it correctly, they are. But the truth is, it's easy to get distracted, and when we're in that place, we're severely weakened. We must be purposeful in our commitment to give God our best in every area. After all, He gave us everything.