Emotional Ink

I’ve debated over whether or not to share this publicly, but I’ve decided it’s too beautiful of an experience to keep to myself, so here we go! A few weeks ago, Jason and I got away for a few days. We’ve had 4 various trips cancelled due to Covid restrictions since March, and we just needed some time away together. Our biggest trip, was our family vacay to Hawaii, during the anniversary of everything we faced last June. Of all the things Covid has taken away, that one is certainly towards the top of the hurtful list. That trip has been on the family wish list for years, and when we were dealing with the emotions that came with that diagnosis last summer, Hawaii kind of became another anchor for me. My family wasn’t going to go without me, we were going to get through this season, and celebrate next year. Well, it’s next year and due to Covid, we couldn’t celebrate how I wanted. There’s no point in getting angry, it’s out of our control, so we made the best of it. We spent the scheduled Hawaii week with family that we rarely get to see and had a wonderful time. We also launched this site as a big part of our 1 year anniversary of being declared cancer free! But, there was still one thing left that I wanted to do. Before I even designed the Who Said? logo, I knew I wanted it tattooed on my back. I’m not a tattoo enthusiast; I’ve never even had one, until now. Thought I wanted one as a teenager, but thankfully I was wise enough to not want one without a deep, personal meaning. Otherwise, I’d have stretchmark-ridden paw prints down my mama-scarred belly today! 🤣 But, this was different. I love the idea of a permanent reminder of what God has done for me, along with all of the other reminders I have. I love that it will start random conversations and open doors to share my testimony. I love putting those words in permanent ink, never to be washed away, just like the promises of my Father. So, when Jason asked if I wanted to slip away to Vegas for a few days, just the two of us, I couldn’t wait! I knew it was the perfect opportunity!

Emotional doesn’t even begin to describe the whole experience. I was ridiculously nervous, excited, and overwhelmed with the emotions of memories and thankfulness. As this logo was etched, I thought about every piece of it and what it represents, piece by piece, as I could feel each section being permanently engraved in my skin. Here’s a glimpse of the breakdown happening inside my head:

Who Said?

I remembered the weight and emotion of hearing the words of the diagnosis last summer. And then the wave of emotion hit over those now famous words “Who said there were tumors?”, just 11 insanely long days after facing a devastating report. I thought about the word we received 3 days before the diagnosis, that became the anchor we clung to for those 11 days. The answer that was given before the diagnosis. The truth of healing that stands, no matter what other reports may attempt to contradict. Who said we have to kneel to cancer, or any other sickness/disease? MY GOD SAID HEALING IS MINE! And yours, and every single other believer‘s!

The Heart The heart, formed in the logo by the meeting of the S and the ?, really just began as a cute design element that I “stumbled on” while playing with logo ideas. After I finished the logo, God began speaking to me about the S, and I realized it’s no coincidence that the S and the ? are the focus of the logo. My Savior rose up to overcome every question mark that appears in my life, and there‘s none that are bigger than my God! So when those big questions appear in life, when we face situations that are infinitely bigger than us, what do we do? We trust in His words and we rest in His peace and love, constantly reminding ourselves of His promises. Not because we’re trying to convince God, He’s already taken it on, we’re driving out fear and drowning the voice of the enemy as we fill our hearts and minds with the promises of our Father. There’s not a diagnosis His broken body didn’t cover, there’s no temptation He didn’t overcome, there’s no battle He hasn’t won, there’s no report that can stand against the report of the Lord! His love is so immense, so powerful, He took care of it all before we even had a clue the battle existed! We get to rest in His love (the heart) while our battle (the ?) is bowing to our Savior (the S)! How awesome is that?!

The “S”

The big S in the logo, that was the final step in the tattoo process. From the outline to the last of the shading, I could feel it tying it all together. With every pause, I kept thinking, “Is it over?” The tattoo process wasn’t fun for me. I didn’t “enjoy the pain”, whatever that’s supposed to mean. It hurt. Pain sucks. Period. But the pain was bringing something beautiful; something that would be a part of me for the rest of my life. It was creating a permanent change in me, outwardly, similar to the eternal change that happened inside of me during this whole process. This diagnosis was most certainly an attack from the pits of hell, but my Savior turned it into something beautiful and I’ll never be the same. My faith has been strengthened in ways I couldn’t have possibly understood before and I’m going to shout the goodness of my Father from every rooftop, mountaintop and platform He takes me to! I can’t wait to see the lives that are transformed by His goodness and mercy and to keep saying “Yes!” to what He has next! Who Said?? MY SAVIOR SAID!

I have a good friend, who is a great tattoo artist, that could have certainly done this for me, but for some reason, Vegas stuck out to me. I asked some friends for recommendations on where to go, did tons of research online and visited a couple shops after we got there. But there was this one certain spot that I kept coming back to. Now that the experience is over, I understand why. Not only did the artist do a phenomenal job, but he needed to hear the story. He needed to be encouraged by the goodness of God and to have hope restored in his own life. Jason had the opportunity to share our story with him as he finished up my session and it was the perfect finale. We got to hear his story, encourage him and plant seeds of hope in his life. Isn’t it cool how our God works? The lengths He’ll go to in order to get the message of his love and faithfulness to someone? In the words of our new friend, right before asking for our info to share, “People need to hear that sh**!”. Yeah, they do!! And now there’s one more person, on the strip in the middle of Vegas, passing on the story of what our God has done. Tonight, I pray for divine appointments and opportunities for him to share our message, for faith to be imparted and restored in those that hear it and for miracles and transformations that will shout the undeniable goodness of our Father!